Maybe my love story!!

We all meet people online now and then right and we got no idea how important they suddenly become. Straight from being strangers to being each other's everything they fell in love.this is a modern millenial Love story. The story which started developing when the girl had priorly finished all assignments and the guy had no one to talk to. Both of them searching for friendships landed upon a common platform. this guy was the pickiest of one that you will ever find and the girl was the one who was broken before the one who collected her pieces off the ground alone when she was shattered and walked out strongly. The girl knew what love brings and takes away. The guy was in love for the very first time. we usually do this when we talk to someone we go all in an open everything that we have everything that we have right now in a present and that everything we had in our past. when we love we go all-in so the way come out being a billionaire or we go bankrupt. thats what they did they went all in and,gave everything they had they knew each other since just a few hours and the girl insisted she could see the guy I personally.now of course that is not possible at 1 in the morning because they had been talking all day and it was already past midnight. Yes they just had been talking for a few hours and they had already reached here. I know you will be thinking why so desperate man but their conversations were magical and so were they. now if they had to meet personally the only way left was an Instagram video call because of course they hadn't exchanged numbers after just a few hours of talking so that was the only way that could have happened. as the call commenced the guy was so shy he kept staring at the ceiling. That was the moment that she fell in love with the man.the video call went about for an hour not because they had a lot to talk about but because the Mumbai rains took over and there was no electricity. So just to To comfort her he kept on blabbering. The electricity returned and the call was about to end. This said bye and Hung up. The girl was restless as the situation was kinda out of control and she felt that losing out of her hands so she texted him up and got his number. the next 48 hours they  talked with out breaks and leaving nothing about starting from the deepest darkest us to the brightest present and there any future. From the minute they open their eyes in the morning to the minute they couldn't keep their eyes open any more at night they just talked about everything they knew . those days they could both feel themselves leaning in, they kept their secrets their behaviour and everything that they had on the table like an open journal . They had nothing and everything to lose at the same time. everyone knows when they are falling already you know it, they knew as well. The time for confession came in , now the disaster was who would pitch in first. Confessions are always tiring and also frightening because of course there is always the fear of rejection. They fell in love in the middle of their transformation. They were aware about what they had they were aware of his anger of her solitude and her tolerance.Now when you know that the only thing that can keep the relationship going is the next step that is confession you have to confess because of course it cannot wait. a day later the guy was supposed to leave for his family annual trip. You know when we leave a city or a place we often realise how important a person is for you when you feel as if you lose the person when you leave the city that's when a confession happens that's when their confession happened. when he boarded the train after the last video call before the trip they didnt talk for a bit beacause was in college in a lecture and he was busy boarding a train of course. after the train started rolling out to the city he realised what he was missing or what he was leaving behind. So he kept getting vulnerable and texted her kept talking trying to build up the conversation, she was mid lecture when y asked if she wants to know how she felt. She agreed to know what was on his mind. He immediately confessed saying " I love you" just the plain classic I love you no emoticons no hearts just that sombre vibe. she was mid lecture if you remember when he said the words she had craved for since the video call moment. her heart skipped a million beats not because he proposed but because she knew that if she says yes then she would get in the same situation (as per her) as she was in around five years ago. He confessed at 3:46 p.m. she replied at 3:48 p.m.with an "I love you too" to a plane classic I love you  no emoticons no heart emojis. within this two minutes of her thinking she thought about every situation that she could get into in the  next years . she would let herself take an enormous risk just because she fell in love with every big and small thing he possessed. The talked for the entire day about everything that lives, their families , their cultures and everything. They wished each other good night and laid down. She in her bed and him on his train berth.they wished each other good night but they both had sleepless nights wondering what the fuck just happened. but we all know right when a story starts the sky is pink the clouds are purple and everything starts to look beautiful and feel happy and pleasing. But then we have seen that once the things are beautiful the fuckening has to happen. So the fuckening happened,as he woke up the next day she did as well and as regularly they talked about what was going on what they were doing that picture updates going on. almost at the end of the day he texted that his phone was gonna die and said I'll text you when I charge my phone. Then he didn't text later now imagine a girl just got into a relationship after taking such an enormous risk and the guy disappeared almost one day after they start dating . Now they had these answered rule of good night and good mornings, so she thought he must have knocked out from the trip from the entire day so she didn't mind that wished him a good night which of course wasn't read and she fell asleep as well ,she woke up the next morning checked the phone and  still no  good morning either. This hit her differently because he was the person who used to get up first to wish you her a good morning. Well it kept bothering her she's skipped a hell lot of meals because thats who she was .  for her roommates noticed something was off she had been down lately, and hadnt been getting so many meals , so after almost two days of him not showing up the roommates find out what was happening. the two best friends that she had one of them was convinced that he was a playboy. And he decided to do research on him the family background and this stuff that he could contact him in emergency just in the pure intention of helping her.he couldn't find anything which would be piling upon the fact that he was a playboy because he was not. they could not find anything to contact him now the roommates did some research as well this every thing every nook and corner on a social media every handle every every account and everything that they could get their hands on they went up to truecaller and found an e-mail address that iwas attached to his number that he used she took that down and send an extremely concerned the email of course not reply. she used to text him she used to as before informing and giving every little detail of her day. She  could recall what he told , she knew it was a 5 day trip .which meant when he left on Saturday he would come back by Thursday she was convinced and also she convinced herself that you would wait until Thursday end of the day. 4th and the 5th days went to the same as well as the custom good night and good mornings custom details being upset and skipping meals everything just as usual. Now it was the day the Thursday end of the day would mean she had to leave ,leave him behind and move on. Thursday started off she knew he would be back by now. The last text that she sent read,  Thursday is the latest I'll wait up to . It was 10:06 am when a text perfect from him reading "I'll always be right here it's just that my stupid phone died". in the back of her mind she knew she wouldn't have left. If a guy's last text read ,"sorry babe my phone's gonna die and I will charge and text as soon as possible" That guy had to be trusted. those five days were the weirdest for the both of them as neither of them had solution to the problem. she skipped meals a lot and he roamed around vestige feeling helpless not to be able to talk to his girl. Now as he got back he didn't like things like skipping meals and stuff and more. That lead up to a huge heated argument and they both Hung up on each other. 2 minutes later he called and said "I am mad at you but also I love you so much." These tiny little things made a fall in love with him. after everything was back on track right .now it was time for first date and first dates are just so pukingly nervous was but the managed to survive and stick around they went to the movies Marine drive is kinda their favourite getaway like shady couples for stopping the chowpattyi food seemed like the best . He slipped his hand in hers and she saw heaven. kisses needed a lot of courage and they both flagged off it at that moment. they survived through this with more magical moments and more loads of wonderful dates. Their last date was before the lockdown by last I don't mean the last of their lifetime but the last  they met. to this day  they will have a hell of a lifetime to date I told you before what they were aware about was his anger that just went away with the love she gave and her solitude converted to him knowing everything about her . they're stuck a lot miles apart but they miss each  other like never before missing that longing feeling of touch. And they never forget to express it. She is the supporter and the withstander he is the strength and the rant keeper. They might not talk for 20 hours a day now as they used to talk when they met but they still are aware of all the shit happening in each other's lives and they are well aware of how to support each other.He can estimate by her voice the mood she is in .she is aware of his tiniest details. I don't know how to end this story because they are still madly in love and always will be. I don't know how but after reading millions of love stories this is my favourite.   ReplyForward

how i fell in love with myself.

How I fell in love with myself.

I am not gonna lie, I have made a lot of mistakes in my life. I have done so many things which I am truly ashamed of, things I would look back upon with a big ole dose of"what the hell was I thinking".
we do this to ourselves every day, we locate where we are in our lives and what we don't like about it and ourselves. And berate the hell out of ourselves for not being perfect and mistake-free. We look at how our past actions and decisions created our present reality and mentally kick ourselves in the ass for doing whatever unfortunate thing with did to create this non-favourable current experience.

So how did I fall in love with myself?
1) know that you are completely unique
There is absolutely no one like you on this whole planet. forgive yourself for not being perfect because you are exactly how you should be right now. Cut yourself some slack. Give yourself a break. Thinking about how you would feel if your best friend came up with the same issues what would you tell them.

2) get rid of the voice that says you are not good enough
the funny thing is that the voice is just thoughts and nothing else full stop but we believe in it because a belief is a thought that we keep repeating. We have practised that negative thought so many times that it becomes a habit as breathing. Don't try to beat it off with a stick. That only enhances the negative feelings and emotions. Instead, give it some space. Acknowledge it and choose to let it go.

3) be your own advocate.
start standing up for yourself. This requires you to exploring your needs and respecting them moreover, it includes demanding that others respect them too, and not in a throwing a whiny baby temper tantrum way. it means to set boundaries. If something or someone doesn't feel right to you listen to that in a voice and choose to honour and do what does feel right.

4) get rid of those pesky limiting beliefs.
Remember: a belief is just thought that you keep repeating. Maybe it's something someone else kept repeating to you so you started to believe it, but never the less it doesn't serve you.

5) start taking action on what you want. Whether it be getting in shape saving money or have better relationships when you finally decide to take the steps necessary to change you are telling yourself: "I love you and I know you deserve the best".
fixating, rehashing, dwelling on your past only makes it was. It gives it in the present and prevention from living a better now and relating a better future and a happy one. Continuing to beat yourself over it and criticizing yourself only prevention from loving all of the great things about yourself.

well these are only guidelines that I used to follow to learn to love myself for actually, these are only steps that I followed on learning to love myself.
And to end this on a good note:

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.
              -Robert Morley.


  

empathy and disappointment

 Empathy and disappointment.

well when you empathize with someone you have to be really really close to that person because empathy is that feeling in the world where you do aur give  someone something without them even asking for it.
Most of us think that this is telepathy let me clear that this is not.
Telepathy is the connection between two people with the communicate very clearly just without the necessity of speaking to one another.
Empathy is different from telepathy.
Empathy can also be understood as when you take an iced americano while passing your mom's favourite coffee shop and you reach home and give that to her and all she says is,"I was just thinking if I could get one of these".that is what the word you are searching for that is what the connection you are searching for this is what it should specifically have. Empathy not just give away a a lot of love but also did out a lot of disappointment if not done the right way. Like say the coffee from earlier that you got for her you went and give it to your mum and your mum said why did you waste money on the so-called nonexistent coffee which does not even have a proper body of taste.
Reading that sentence tell me on your heart did you feel disappointment? I mean I hope you did otherwise the point of this goes in vain haha. That is what empathy is.
you know disappointment is also such a nice feeling to embrace like disappointment comes in when not needed. One of the most cruel and selfish relations also. Like you called somebody the pickup the call told you quickly that they are busy and Hung up- disappointment.you take someone a very long and caring message believe you on two blue ticks or reply after hours-disappointment.our expectations is a big source of our own disappointment so stop expecting because that brings in disappointment. Instead empathy is a good choice becomes rarely and hardly.
Thoughjust that it's coronavirus around you are current time and you are not using this time to rest prioritise people and purpose in life, you my dear friend are wasting an opportunity you might never get again.The world literally stopped and shifted for you to get your shit together.If this is torture find out why. Look into yourself.
Ciao for now .

Realisations

Well in quarantine
#day 11
When I left the hostel I thought I would have been back by almost a week hence I was convinced that a good pair of joggers some boyfriend shirts and some t-shirts would do my job and I was so optimistic while packing my bags that I didn’t even carry my laptop just because its supremely heavy . so that’s how I left my hostel with just my necessities as soon as I boarded the train I got to know how serious the situation was because as soon as I settled in I saw police patrolling happening and everyone hiding behind the barrier of masks . the situation got so tense after a while the gates of the train were shut down immediately after crossing Dadar. cause after Dadar the most affected stations would arrive thane and Kalyan this was getting worse cause as soon as these stations arrived the train stopped though people couldn’t board it. imagine that distress. cutting all of that I reached Nashik.

This beautiful tree is from outside my building looks like my life blooming all over.

my beautiful home thinking it would bring me peace. I was gravely wrong.
You know what’s shaking that the mental peace I had at hostel is gone when I enter this vibe. The problem with human beings is we never ever appreciate the little things we have. When I was living there, I had this feeling of loneliness according to me n I was always in that illusion that this might go away when I would return home, I was again gravely wrong. as I got here that loneliness for sure went away but to my dismay it wasn’t loneliness it was just broken peace apparently continuous instructions for how should you lead your life is disrupting well is it just me or do you guys also feel that disruption when there is a change in vibe I mean if you know you know like there is a  change in vibe of every single day that’s what they say right you shouldn’t trust people cause they wake up feeling different every single day .
So that’s it for this blog do let me know in the comment section below how did you like it .
Ciao.

Impact-before i fall

Hey 

, geenice Ravenscroft here again so a very quick update I'm back in my hostel on that same bed which doesn't have enough place to toss around when you can't sleep but ignoring the inconveniences I'm good and back in my second home which feels like home now ..so as a part of a a content writing project, we were told to write a blog piece on something which gravely impacted my life now when it comes to realisations I'm kind of poor at realizing things at the correct point of time.so this realisation struck my dumb head today although if it actually were to happen it should have happened around two years ago cause that's when I had watched this movie.

SPOILER ALERT

.well, I'm talking about this movie called before I fall Before I Fall is a 2017 American teen drama a film directed by Ry Russo-Young and written by Maria Maggenti, based on the 2010 novel of the same name by Lauren Oliver. The film stars Zoey Deutch, Halston Sage, Logan Miller, Kian Lawley, Jennifer Beals, Diego Boneta and Elena Kampouris.What if you had only one day to change absolutely everything? Samantha Kingston has everything: the perfect friends, the perfect guy, and a seemingly perfect future. Then, everything changes. After one fateful night, Sam wakes up with no future at all. Trapped reliving the same day over and over, she begins to question just how perfect her life really was. As she begins to untangle the mystery of a life suddenly derailed, she must also unwind the secrets of the people closest to her, and discover the power of a single day to make a difference, not just in her own life, but in the lives of those around her--before she runs out of time for good.
Maybe for you, there is a tomorrow. Maybe for you, there are 10000 1000 or 3000 tomorrows. so much time you can bathe in it so much time you can waste in it but for some of us there is only today and what you do today matters in the moment or into infinity and I didn't know any of it until I fell . The thing is you don't know any of it or you don't wake up with a bad feeling in your stomach or neither do you see shadows move. If you are like me you wake up 2 minutes 47 seconds before your best friend is supposed to be picking you up. If you are like me you last day starts like this.
                                                                                                              - Samantha. 
you know it often happens that when we watch a movie or a Netflix series or read a piece or a book the way that book or that above piece is written we either start getting attached or start relating to a certain character or say the protagonist itself in here the protagonist Samantha wakes up in a sudden shudder the next day after a life-taking accident. now she keeps reliving the same day the cupid day she goes to school receives the same roses go to the same party gets in trouble with the same girl that they call a sociopath and the same suicide of the same girl Julian in front of their truck the same accident that Samantha wakes up to every day on three consecutive days she relives the same day but she tries to live it in a different way like the first day she relives that day she couldn't help much though the next day she changes her outfits and tries living in a different way possible on the third the day the final day she tries and mends the ways she tries to be happy spends time with her little sister her family and her friends goes to the same party gain though this time she talks to Julianne (sociopath) and tries to mend her ways by saving her from killing herself though the twist is Samantha dies in that accident itself. like this movie gravely affected my life after seeing this movie for a couple of days I had technically questioned my existence and on a rewind, I had seen my life wether should I mend my ways or simply lead on to that I had found that I wasn't doing much of a worse to anyone. well till a couple of more days I would compare my days from the previous ones if I had been repeating something in the entire day or to be specific I was looking for some unnoticed deja vu.
well to this I realised in all of my activities I was just looking for some acceptance and some epiphany of my family started growing on me. 
to be very honest in the movie as well the character Samantha was leading her life in the gloom until she technically realised that she was doing wrong to people. she was dating rob just because he was the most popular guy in college and not good love.
the character Lindsy was looking just for acceptance cause she had put the name on Julianne when peed her pants in the sleeping bag just because her parents were going through a divorce. 
and Julianne she just shut down from the world cause neither did she have any acceptance not to mention nor any friends and on top of everything she was treated in a very ill manner.
so before yours mine and our life take a stop and create deja vu on us we gotta mend our ways and be ideal human beings . after all you don't know if you once will wake up to a shudder to relive the same day .

changes.

changes...

well, a word so easy to spell but so freaking hard to get it done. changes aren't very easy to implement though, maybe that's what it is said to get a change done to get your mood right. so that's what I did I came home peeps to stop feeling homesick (not to mention I dropped the opportunity to go to goa as an IV but my room felt more appealing to me at that point ). well I thought I was hitting depression because of this strange mood I was getting in every two hours but turned out to be I was just missing the way my room smelt and the way my mum would make me cottage cheese flatbreads, so ya here I am writing from my home.

my Instagram stories of me being home apparently.

being home should be happiness justified right but apparently, for a phase it wasn't well homesickness started getting cured, depression started hitting in though , well when people judge you for your body your hair your complexion the very next moment that's not something I would really appreciate let alone me would anyone appreciate I hope not.

well, no one my very own people judged me ,trust me they thought they were helpful to me by reminding me my flaws but that hurts more cause I'm well aware for sure .well I guess that will be a different story for some other day saved will come out for sure I promise after all I promise to leave nothing out.

but I got happy after all cause not because the judging stopped though I got a really nice dinner at my favourite restaurant the white x sky lounge what else do I need .hence it subsided though it's all gonna come out though not all at once.

ciao .